they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
