at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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