why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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