Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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