I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
