sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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