ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
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