woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
