Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize