Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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