He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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