my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
