Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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