Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
