i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
it hurts more in the daytime
He told me they were just razor bumps!
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
