the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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