you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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