He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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