I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
