Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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