haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
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