i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
