This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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