How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
