it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
