so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
