I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
