You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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