hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
