Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize