My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize