Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
