four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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