I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Randomize