If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
