what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
