Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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