In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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