Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Randomize
