there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
You've changed since you got that strap on
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
