im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Randomize
