Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
