one two three fourrrrnication!
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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