Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
