Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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