Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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