i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
My ass is underappreciated
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
