At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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