If i come over, it means nothing
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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