You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
