chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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