you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I love you.
Bad choice
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
