Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
