id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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