Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
So apparently I’m into choking now
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