Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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