Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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