white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
the day after is always just damage control
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
