Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
